HRGGG

there are like 3 things bothering me
1. My lack of variation
2. All the people I keep finding who are young and talented or just hells better than me
3. Lack of detail work or something

1. I noticed that there are certain elements that I like drawing in poses more than others, but I never thought they actually showed in my gallery because most of it stayed in my sketchbooks. But like. I just went through and counted all my pictures with feet pointed up a forward like this:

there were like. 18 of them OTL (and its almost always the left foot)

and don't get me started on all the hands that rest on people's left hips like this:

I feel like I repeat hand poses a lot in general too
why can't I draw nice hands like you *inflect ; ; (her hands are SO SO NICE MY GOD)
they actually looks like boy hands whereas mine are all "LOL LADY FINGERS"

and then, all my body types are the same OTL every time I exaggerate I keep making "corrections" until I realize its the same again.

and then my face angles/directions OTLOTLOTL

I apologize for ranting on, but sometimes...well very often I feel unoriginal.

2. I watch freakin 500+ people who are amazing. SHUSH YOU. I don't care how good you think I am, I'll always think these people are good. [link]
I watch maybe 10-20 people who don't do digital paintings/drawings. (like pixelists, friends from school, crafty people, stock people, dev clubs, etc). and that's it. everyone else is COMPETITION. (not that pixelists and craft people arn't competition for me as well, I just focus more on drawings)

I think my problem is when I was really bad at drawing, I always thought everyone better than me were the 'good' people. But now that I've gotten better, you'd think my standards would've gone up right? Well they didn't = A =;
I still think all the people before are still x10 ahead of me.

Anyone who can finish a digital fullbody character (decently), even if its just one picture, I see as competition.
its so annoying sometimes
especially when I find 5 new artists in one day I like flip out all over the place feeling not as cool. (And especially if their style is similar to mine)
take a look at my THOUSANDS of favs that make me want to cry
[link]

I wish one day I can flip through my gallery and get it confused with the quality of my favs ffggg. But I am only one person. and they are an army of hundreds.

3. rufflesnobbensork. I also kinda feel like I don't get enough practice with costumes/details. Because first off, most of my characters have not so detail requiring outfits. and then secondly I'm always drawing other people's characters so I don't really choose what they wear.

I want to work on seams and stitches! Ruffles and tassels! Lace and frills!
all the little detaily things that people never incorporate in their characters for noteable reasons.

I should do more original art then...and make more complex styled characters
and work harder with original poses
and work on my hands
and continue to work on my backgrounds FFFG
and work on actions
expressions
angles
facial feature variation
animaaaaalssss (need a break from so many peoples)

and stop browsing for new artists = A =
its killing me really. hugeeee ego depleter


Sorry for ranting, just needed to get it off my chest. I'll feel better eventually. (when I feel that I've improved lol; )

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