choose to be completely alone if it meant you could become everything you ever wanted skill wise?
Something I've been thinking more about lately. For some of my older watchers, you've probably noticed my extreme lack of activity for almost the last year. In the last year I've also met more people, gone more places. Maybe I'm just really bad at budgeting my time. Before, I only had a handful of really close friends irl and was okay with that because generally nobody paid attention to us. Social rejects in a sense, but cool ones at that. I had more time to myself and to focus on painting/drawing/etc. I always sort of wished I had more of a social life, but didn't have the means to go about it. You'll always meet people in school, but they don't always click, you know? I just sort of accepted it as "there aren't that many artists out there, or people into everything you're into. Just wait until you get to college, it'll be better."<-- this being something I realized shortly after middle school. I've been waiting to get out of high school pretty much since it started.
But now here I am, more than half way done with senior year. Closer to 18 than 16. And I still think at times that I'm 15, or even 14. Having a hard time accepting that I'm getting older. Especially since I didn't start getting really attached to people until recent, and the people who I was acquainted with before are realizing that our time is limited and want to hang out as much as possible before we all split ways. It's sort of led to me becoming detached from everything, maybe in a defensive response. I'm not satisfied that I've let myself be alone for so long so I focus more on people than my work. But then I become unsatisfied that I've been ignoring my work in return. And even when I spend time with people, I know we will all have to split up soon. Why couldn't they have been here 3 or 4 years ago? I had to come to terms with being on my own without anyone, and thought I had. But ugh, this year and made me regress in all sorts of ways.
Usually I don't like to talk about this sort of thing publicly but I owe it to those who've supported my art dabblings here to at least try to reconnect. (and also just needed to vent a little) I miss you guys.
Even though deviantart isn't always the best place, I've met a lot more people I connect with than I have irl. Everyone being art-oriented definitely helps. You're the sort of people I've been hoping college would allow me to meet.
I can understand either aspect of the argument. On the one hand, your art is your life. I can see that you'd want to make it as great as you possibly can. On the other hand, you have friends that want to spend time with you, and you'd want to be with them. It's a pretty big decision to try to make...... Hm. Try finding the perfect balance of art and friends. I feel somewhat regretful because I've let my art slack in high favor of friends, but at the same time, I don't regret it because I've made memories with the people who I care about and who care about me. It's all up to you in the end. Go with what your heart's telling you.
I personally think that when someone cuts themselves off from other people, it only ends up damaging them more. I also think that every person shares a link with each other and we're constantly bouncing off of that link whether it be positive or negative and that link is stronger with people you're closer with. This link and energy we share with people is something that I believes keeps us all living. And I don't mean breathing and walking aroudn because that's just existing. I mean actual full-throttle living. I do not believe that one single person can go through life completely alone and yet happy at the same time.
And even if you split ways with one of those people you share a strong link with, you're still constantly bouncing and living off that link. I knew this girl once and we were very close. We eventually had to split ways but even now I can feel the link we share and I feel my life still being constantly shaped by that, even if whe have no communication at all.
And remember; the times they are a-changing. This is a digital world. You'll always have things like facebook and even deviantart.
I can understand this situation your in, but my advice for you is to say "screw it" to work and just go have fun. You said it yourself--you're halfway done with your senior year and closer to 18 than 16. We only get 18 years to be a kid and the other 50 or so is spent working our butts off to support ourselves and any family we have while the last of the 30 years is spent living off a pension and basically spending a lot of your time at home (if what my Grandma does is any indication).
So go spend time with people you want to spend time with and enjoy these last few months you have as a kid.
No, I wouldn't choose to be alone. All of my friends are artists too, in one way or another, and whether they realize it or not. Most of them draw! They constantly inspire me. If I didn't have my friends, I'm certain I never would have gotten this far. And without them now, my progress as an artist would be extremely hindered, if it could be even called progress at all. But as far as my friendships/familial relations with non-artistic people? ...I could definitely live without them.
I totally know what you're talking about... and I'm only in Junior year! Every time people bring up looking at colleges or that the majority of my friends (being senors) aren't going to be there next year... *shivers*
I already chose to be alone in the "art first, people second" sense. If there is someone who accepts that she/he in my heart would only take the second place behind my profession, it's good. If not, then i'll continue being alone. I have closer friends but i never had more than 1-2 at a time. Besides all this, i have many people who i think of as buddies. But last time i tried to be completely alone continuously, i cut wrists. Went to see the limits of social beings. -,- Yep, humans have limits. They can't stay alone. Except if they born asocial. Hypothetically: wtf of course i'd choose to be alone.
mmm yeah, that's true. We've very social beings. (As sociology class this semester has been telling me ha ha)
I used to be so ready to just jump in the car and drive off to college land. Possibly work land as well. But now that it's finally creeping up on me, I want to revert back into a small child and never age again. //so much angst
I wasn't thinking entirely about a life partner or anything when writing this ffff. But yeah, that's another issue all in itself. I often tell myself, if I never find a spouse because they can't take being second to my work, I will adopt many orphaned children instead.
It's a pretty big decision to try to make......
Hm. Try finding the perfect balance of art and friends.
I feel somewhat regretful because I've let my art slack in high favor of friends, but at the same time, I don't regret it because I've made memories with the people who I care about and who care about me. It's all up to you in the end. Go with what your heart's telling you.
And even if you split ways with one of those people you share a strong link with, you're still constantly bouncing and living off that link. I knew this girl once and we were very close. We eventually had to split ways but even now I can feel the link we share and I feel my life still being constantly shaped by that, even if whe have no communication at all.
And remember; the times they are a-changing. This is a digital world. You'll always have things like facebook and even deviantart.
I can understand this situation your in, but my advice for you is to say "screw it" to work and just go have fun. You said it yourself--you're halfway done with your senior year and closer to 18 than 16. We only get 18 years to be a kid and the other 50 or so is spent working our butts off to support ourselves and any family we have while the last of the 30 years is spent living off a pension and basically spending a lot of your time at home (if what my Grandma does is any indication).
So go spend time with people you want to spend time with and enjoy these last few months you have as a kid.
Stop working and start living.
All of my friends are artists too, in one way or another, and whether they realize it or not. Most of them draw! They constantly inspire me. If I didn't have my friends, I'm certain I never would have gotten this far. And without them now, my progress as an artist would be extremely hindered, if it could be even called progress at all. But as far as my friendships/familial relations with non-artistic people? ...I could definitely live without them.
;_________;
(don't tell my friends that though! haha)
I hope they don't feel the same way either
Yep, humans have limits. They can't stay alone. Except if they born asocial.
Hypothetically: wtf of course i'd choose to be alone.
I used to be so ready to just jump in the car and drive off to college land. Possibly work land as well. But now that it's finally creeping up on me, I want to revert back into a small child and never age again. //so much angst
I wasn't thinking entirely about a life partner or anything when writing this ffff. But yeah, that's another issue all in itself. I often tell myself, if I never find a spouse because they can't take being second to my work, I will adopt many orphaned children instead.